Haircut from Hell -- When a Haircut is Hell

Haircut From Hell?



..... not exactly what you're thinking



Imagine a woman wearing a flapping black cape with half her head shaved and half of her head covered in hot pink hair dye fleeing from your local salon or barber shop. Is it Halloween? Is she a new Superhero -- the cape would make one assume it as a possibility -- but what would she be called? Super Panic Princess who flies through the air for sanctuary after escaping from the horrors of being detained in a salon chair.  She has survived but not yet finished the horrors of being trapped in the salon. She deserves a gold medal and some fantastically awesome kickass adjective-filled Superhero name. 


Let's just call the "Panic Princess" Jamie for the moment. 


Smell is one of our strongest senses that invoke memories. The scent of the salon wafts over my nose even though I'm far away ( and have been for more than a year . ) I remember the "fresh" smell of the shampoo, the feeling of a relaxing scalp massage, and that "reveal" of a new me after a new haircut. I miss those days.

But I did have them -- SEE BELOW!
Credit: Pinky





A salon visit is a pure LUXURY. I have not stepped into a salon in over a year. My agoraphobia makes this luxury a hellish nightmare. It's not even because of the people. It's because the situation makes me feel trapped. Instead of a nice cape that protects my clothing I feel like the hangman's noose has been strapped around my neck and that comfortable salon chair is now an electric chair. I'm tense, I can't enjoy myself, and I know that I have to keep going until the haircut is finished. My heart is racing and my hands are sweating. I'm shaking and the stylist is telling me to keep still (not any of my recent stylists "Pinky I love you" ). Pinky (For my non local readers is an AWESOME stylist at Premier Visions ).

I hope to visit one day because I really miss her personality, pizzazz, and AMAZING skills! She ALWAYS made me feel beautiful even with my low self esteem. Thank you Jennifer "Pinky". You are a gem!






So, I just quit going. Why put myself through such hellish torture?
( Even though I really want the haircut pictured above )

I miss those days. I miss those smells. I miss someone else's hands in my hair giving me a scalp massage and letting me relax while I inhale the luxurious scents of the shampoo. I miss having TWO eyebrows and not looking like a bushy Albert Einstein poster. I also miss my hair not looking like a frazzled, fried, wavy, strangely colored rendition of Cousin It ( from the Addams family ). 


SEE THE RESEMBLANCE?


Oh, how I miss those days. I do believe everything happens for a reason. I don't know exactly why I'm going through this challenge but I am trying to find the "silver linings". At least now I truly know a haircut is a LUXURY to people with agoraphobia or severe panic disorder. 

I'm at the point I NEED a haircut. The ends are frayed and it looks bad no matter how I tryle to style it -- and I have been trying to straighten it and do all kinds of cute styles. But, it just looks like frayed horse hair. It's not pleasant. I'm tempted to take to the scissors or razors myself.

So if my next Facebook profile pictures looks like a half shaved reddish mohawk -- you know why!


I am not writing this to find pity. I am writing this to show you a reality. I'm hoping my description of such a mundane activity to you is both a luxury and terror for me. I have learned to cherish the little things in life. Seeing the sunset on the river was AMAZING to me and seent through a completely new set of eyes.

Also, the way we look helps our self-esteem. If we can't get out to a salon and we dislike our appearance it doesn't help with that fragile self-esteem. I know my hair doesn't look great. I am blessed enough that I have been able to trim my own bangs and do some color but it doesn't look like I would like. 

However, I'm not far enough in my exposure therapy that I'd ever consider setting foot into a salon.

Moral of the story --

Cherish the little things -- because for some of us -- they are a mountainous luxury.

Till next time -- your Super Panic Princess

Jamie Xo



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A New Beginning and the "Agoraphobia Diaries."

Image
The "Agoraphobia Diaries " Welcome to my new blog. The purpose of this blog is to educate, tell stories, share products, and to show others "there is hope." So, let's just start at the beginning.... What is agoraphobia? Agoraphobia is defined as the "fear of open spaces". But, that is the definition because of the word's Latin meaning. Agoraphobia can come in many forms. Housebound Agoraphobia: These people are scared to leave their house -- and sometimes even a certain room. Safe space Agoraphobia: You could know people with agoraphobia and have NO idea. These people tend to travel in the same areas all the time. They won't leave their "safe zone". This could be 5 or 50 miles. It could mean no interstates or "motorways." Safe person Agoraphobia: These people often attach to a person instead of a space or area. They can go to places with their "safe person." That doesn't always mean they go w...
Read more

Goals not Resolutions ---- Happy New Year from your friendly neighborhood agoraphobic!

Image
Resolutions for 2018 NO I don't do resolutions I DO GOALS! Drink more WATER Go out more and oh..... BECOME A BUTTERFLY Metamorphosize or..... Go to the grocery store and shop ALONE without my heart racing, chest hurting, face getting purply red, losing my breath, feeling like I'm going crazy, getting tunnel vision, getting dizzy, feeling like I'm going to faint from the massive panic attack I'm describing and oh yeah, by the way..... RECOVER FROM AGORAPHOBIA Yeah, I said it..... I'm not ashamed. I won't feel guilty! I did not choose this. It's a DISORDER not a DECISION! ' Hi, I have Agoraphobia Imagine needing eye drops, craving Taco Bell, and wanting some specific grocery items, and needing a haircut and your ear and throat hurt horribly. Your eyes feel like sandpaper, you are CRAVING a bean burrito BAD, and you NEED those groceries. But, guess what? YOU CANNOT go get them. You can't even get a simple h...
Read more

Doctors joke about "Period Rage" .... I am PMDD

Image
PERIOD RAGE "The Doctors" make a joke of PMDD I have been a longtime fan of the TV show "The Doctors." The show features Dr. Travis Stork, Dr. Nita Panel, and Dr. Andrew Ordon. Recently, they featured a story where a woman said she got so mad during her "PMDD" that she felt she could murder her husband. Apparently the doctors, excluding the only female doctor Nita Panel, thought it was a great joke and had a lot of laughs at thousands of women's expense.  Television shows are created for ratings. Everyone is aware of that fact. However, a TV show that is meant to educate on medical conditions is adding stigma and makes jokes about a very serious disorder. Dr. Ordon, most prominently, advised men to date a women "a few cycles" before proposing and blamed "aggressive driving" on women with PMDD. When Dr. Nita Panel tried to explain the seriousness of this disorder she was spoken over and ignored. I am appalled and y...
Read more