Posts

Mirrors Lie!

Image
Mirrors Lie! For as long as I can remember I have avoided mirrors. I don't know why this started at such a young age for me. "UGLY" the word swirled in my brain. "FAT" was another adjective that the mirror often shouted at me. ( No I don't hallucinate -- this is a metaphor ) I always felt ( even in elementary school ) that the other students were staring at me, talking about me, and laughing at me. For the most part this wasn't 100% true -- however -- I was told plenty of times that I was not attractive, I was fat, I was ugly etc. I listened to those children and since I already believed this myself -- I assumed it MUST BE TRUE. Sadly, this has followed me into adulthood. Even in college ( I did start dating ) most of the guys kept me "secret". ( By the way ladies or gentlemen DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LESS BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME DESERVING SECRET ). This furthered chipped away at my already fragile self etsteem. I gradu

Haircut from Hell -- When a Haircut is Hell

Image

Goals not Resolutions ---- Happy New Year from your friendly neighborhood agoraphobic!

Image
Resolutions for 2018 NO I don't do resolutions I DO GOALS! Drink more WATER Go out more and oh..... BECOME A BUTTERFLY Metamorphosize or..... Go to the grocery store and shop ALONE without my heart racing, chest hurting, face getting purply red, losing my breath, feeling like I'm going crazy, getting tunnel vision, getting dizzy, feeling like I'm going to faint from the massive panic attack I'm describing and oh yeah, by the way..... RECOVER FROM AGORAPHOBIA Yeah, I said it..... I'm not ashamed. I won't feel guilty! I did not choose this. It's a DISORDER not a DECISION! ' Hi, I have Agoraphobia Imagine needing eye drops, craving Taco Bell, and wanting some specific grocery items, and needing a haircut and your ear and throat hurt horribly. Your eyes feel like sandpaper, you are CRAVING a bean burrito BAD, and you NEED those groceries. But, guess what? YOU CANNOT go get them. You can't even get a simple h

Doctors joke about "Period Rage" .... I am PMDD

Image
PERIOD RAGE "The Doctors" make a joke of PMDD I have been a longtime fan of the TV show "The Doctors." The show features Dr. Travis Stork, Dr. Nita Panel, and Dr. Andrew Ordon. Recently, they featured a story where a woman said she got so mad during her "PMDD" that she felt she could murder her husband. Apparently the doctors, excluding the only female doctor Nita Panel, thought it was a great joke and had a lot of laughs at thousands of women's expense.  Television shows are created for ratings. Everyone is aware of that fact. However, a TV show that is meant to educate on medical conditions is adding stigma and makes jokes about a very serious disorder. Dr. Ordon, most prominently, advised men to date a women "a few cycles" before proposing and blamed "aggressive driving" on women with PMDD. When Dr. Nita Panel tried to explain the seriousness of this disorder she was spoken over and ignored. I am appalled and y

A New Beginning and the "Agoraphobia Diaries."

Image
The "Agoraphobia Diaries " Welcome to my new blog. The purpose of this blog is to educate, tell stories, share products, and to show others "there is hope." So, let's just start at the beginning.... What is agoraphobia? Agoraphobia is defined as the "fear of open spaces". But, that is the definition because of the word's Latin meaning. Agoraphobia can come in many forms. Housebound Agoraphobia: These people are scared to leave their house -- and sometimes even a certain room. Safe space Agoraphobia: You could know people with agoraphobia and have NO idea. These people tend to travel in the same areas all the time. They won't leave their "safe zone". This could be 5 or 50 miles. It could mean no interstates or "motorways." Safe person Agoraphobia: These people often attach to a person instead of a space or area. They can go to places with their "safe person." That doesn't always mean they go w

My NEW favorite dot grid journal

Image
Journaling is a great way for anyone to express themselves. However, it's an integral part of recovery steps in mental health. I track my symptoms, triggers, medications, emotions, sleep etc. so I can try and make some sense out of my overcomplicated brain. I've been using the journal below for almost 6 months (second journal as I do a two page spread for each entry). It's my all time favorite and I've been through Moleskine, traveler's journals, etc. The number one reason I love this journal is that I work with brush pens, watercolor, and mixed medium. There is NO BLEEDTHROUGH and only a little "ghosting" with watercolors. I've never had a journal stand up to my "Tombow" abuse or my watercolor frenzy. This one does. It also has test pages in the back to check each type of pen, free mood stickers, a ruler, and the spine doesn't break or come apart. I've been gluing in my cards, notes, etc. and never ha